Today I worked a nice long shift at my day job. I sold a lot of electronics stuff and helped a lot of customers find their things they need for summer. I love doing what I do, except I also hate it. I find myself daydreaming and staring off into la-la land a lot. My mind is racing with The Storm’s next chapter and Casey’s entire story. I keep replaying over and over again what I need to write next for both.
This is great if I could just rush home after work and get to writing, but I can’t. I first have to go and pick up my four little gremlins from their school, and then on Thursday we have taekwondo.
By the time I get everyone home, it’s time for supper and chores. After that is time for bed for everyone, but me, and I find myself wearing thin. The juices aren’t flowing like they were at 6:30 AM. My brain is starting to grind its gears. After everyone is in bed, but certainly not asleep, I sit down to try and concentrate on my own school work.
My school work is hard to concentrate on when I want to open a word document and write out 2,000 words for The Storm or the next installment of Casey.
Before the sun went down, and before I could distract myself with school work, I went outside to see that we have to weed the garden before Monday. I sighed and came back inside to hear my boys fighting about something. I made my way up the stairs to see that someone had poked a fork into my 24 pack of soda. The cola was going everywhere. I decided to ignore it for now and see what was going on inside the bedrooms.
Bean was pouring a whole can of cola onto the side of his little sister’s bed. Princess was giggling and they were having a grand time. I put a towel into his hands and made him start to clean the mess. I wiped up a bit of the bed, thanks to mattress protectors, and then went on into the other bedroom. Inside there was another whole circus of events. Monkey and Lump, my two “older” boys, were trying to see if they could convince one of the cats to sleep with them. They had Emrys under the blankets and he was doing his best to escape. I let the cat go and went to check on Bean, again. He was doing alright but not going very fast. I resigned myself to cleaning up the mess and sent him on into bed.
It is now 9:30pm and I haven’t done any school work and I have no energy to write The Storm or Casey. I am sitting here instead of cleaning the mess in the kitchen left by the initial attack of Bean. I wonder if Princess will ever go to sleep tonight and if I will lose my will to continue my stories. I certainly have the exhaustion that will set in again tomorrow. I also will probably be staring off into space again during the morning truck off load at work and I wonder if this time I will end up falling asleep while driving home.
Life is so exhausting. I just keep reminding myself that one day I will have a published best seller and one day I will have kids older than toddlers. One day I will know what sleep is again. Today is just not that day.