It doesn’t pay the bills

I work a full time job at a retail store. When people I know find out I write they ask me why I am not just staying home and publishing things? I write online. My audience has always been instant with feed back.

While I was writing Keeper’s Kinn I realized that I craved the instant response. I kept asking myself, “Is this a good story?” I couldn’t answer myself because I rely on the feedback of my fans. I struggled through half way since I knew this was going to be my published work. This was the one that will be out there as a professional author and not just updated one chapter at a time.

So, while I work I talk to my coworkers about our second jobs. We all have something, because we all have dreams. Writing, though, doesn’t pay the bills. My kids would starve and we would be living in a tent if I relied on my writing to live. I know people are reading my stories when they go onto the web, but my biggest fear is they won’t read them when they are published. I tell my coworkers about my latest story and some have even been reading them online.

I hurt when I finally get home and most of the time I would rather drift into one of my stories just through imagination than turn on my computer. Writing takes energy, but shutting my eyes and daydreaming is relaxing.

Telling my stories aloud also doesn’t take much work. Little synopsis here and there or just a quick tale reminds me of my childhood. I always would give stories to my little sister while we did our chores. I remember she would beg me to write them down, too. I just never felt the urge to sit and remember back. I love thinking forward.

Even now I am sitting on my break and thinking about the ending to Casey. I am not thinking about the next chapter anymore, but the completion of the entire story. I won’t write it yet, because I always write in order, but I know the whole story. I know the ending of The Storm as well, though we are many chapters away from that. I have them both running in my mind and I will until they are down. When will I get the motivation to write them, though? I don’t know.

All I know is that my motivation right now is going back onto the floor of the store and stocking more stuff. I will be replaying their whole stories again in my head, too. That is my pay for the good story.

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