I am holding my paddle…

I feel like I am up *#&% creek without a good grip on that paddle. I still have it, though. Only thing is that I live in the farm country against a river that rushes through. I do not live near a gentle creek.


I know most people just drive across town or maybe to the next town over for a good doctor. I have a two hour drive up to the cities and then another two to come back. That is if I am lucky to avoid city traffic.

With a five year old along for the ride, things can get a bit interesting. It is his doctors that are so specialized we cannot just take the 50 minute drive to the town to see them. My other kids just ride for the 50 minutes, but my five year old son is different. They are still calling around to find a new audiologist for the poor kid in our state.

Some days I wonder why I ever left the city. I wrote well enough while I lived in Las Vegas as a teenager; then I saw the world. Doctors can stay in the cities, but I cannot deal with that chaos anymore.


I need the scene of the growing crops and the puffy clouds.

But, the kid’s need their doctors. I also love my job (which I couldn’t go to now for two days because of my son being so sick). In the end, my peaceful home is more important than moving.

My schooling is also getting more difficult to keep up with as appointments overlap with already tight work schedules. My kids are also having to do one activity according to their therapists to keep up their socialization learning. At least their school is out for the summer.

I just feel like my boat is drifting more and more toward the cities now. My paddle is shuddering under the current and I am wondering which is going to break first. I just hope it isn’t my stories, because they are my only sanity in my life filled with doctors, work, and college busy work.


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